A good marriage doesn't happen by accident and that's the heartbeat of Commitment 2 in Paul David Tripp's book Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make. This is topic of discussion on Episode 112 of the Marriage Puzzle Podcast. If you missed episode 111 where we introduced this book series, go back and listen first — this builds on it. But here's the short version: we coincidentally started reading the same book without ever talking about it, and it's turned

We just started reading a book, and the funny part is, we started the same book coincidentally. Thomas found it on Audible during his commute. Juli was already three chapters in. Neither of us told the other — we just both happened to pick up Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make by Paul David Tripp at the exact same time. We're calling it a coincidence. We also kind of think it wasn't. We loved it enough that we've decided to spend the next several episod

If you've been married for more than about five minutes, you already know communication is where most of the real work happens. This one is from Episode 110 of the Marriage Puzzle Podcast. We like to say marriage is a three-legged stool: communication, intimacy, and finances. But after 20 years of marriage and more than 100 episodes of this podcast, we've noticed something — communication isn't just one leg. It's integrated with the other two the whole time. Amazing sex once

If you and your spouse still think in terms of "my money" and "your money," we need to talk. This one's a little personal for us — in Episode 108 of the Marriage Puzzle podcast, we got into one of the biggest wedges we see in marriages: how couples handle their finances. Here's the thought experiment we like to use to shake people out of autopilot. The "Whose Car Is It?" Test Imagine you and your spouse split every bill proportionally based on income. You make more, you cover

This is from Episode 107, and it might be one of the most important ones we've recorded — not because we found some deep theological insight, but because our seven-year-old accidentally handed it to us at bedtime. If you've got kids, you know bedtime is basically a negotiation. Ours is a master of the "one more thing" stall tactic — she can reel you back in from the doorway with the skill of a seasoned salesperson. On this particular night, Juli was the one finishing up the r

If you caught Episode 106 of Marriage Puzzle, you know we cracked open a topic most couples whisper about but rarely talk through out loud: pornography, solo intimacy, and where the line actually sits inside a Christian marriage. This is Part 2 — three more of your questions, answered as honestly as we know how. (If you missed either episode. Listen here.) We're not writing this as experts looking down at anyone. We're writing it as two people who've had these exact conversat

Few topics stir up more tension — and more silence — in a marriage than pornography and solo intimacy. Is it cheating? Is it harmless? Is it different for men than it is for women? These are the questions couples whisper about but rarely say out loud, and they deserve honest, unfiltered answers instead of the awkward silence most marriages default to. Here's where we land on it, and why. (Check out episode 105 of the Marriage Puzzle Podcast on this topic here.) Is Pornography

When you walk through the front door after work, what do you need most? A hug and a conversation? Or ten quiet minutes to decompress? If you and your spouse have ever argued within the first 30 minutes of seeing each other after a long day, you may not have a communication problem at all—you may simply have different attachment needs. In episode 104 of the Marriage Puzzle podcast, Thomas and Juli answer a listener's question about what happens when one spouse craves immediate

What if one of the most powerful tools for strengthening your marriage wasn't expensive, time-consuming, or complicated? What if it was simply your words? The way you talk about your spouse—both to them and about them—has the power to either strengthen your relationship or slowly tear it apart. Every marriage experiences frustrations. No spouse is perfect. But healthy marriages often share one common trait: spouses who intentionally speak life into one another rather than tea

Have you ever looked at your spouse and thought, "How do they not see everything I'm carrying?" If so, you're not alone. Many marriage conflicts aren't really about dishes, laundry, or forgotten coffee cups. Beneath those everyday frustrations often lies something much deeper: the invisible load. It's the mental and emotional labor of running a home—the planning, remembering, organizing, anticipating, and managing that often goes unnoticed. And when that load goes unseen for

Life gets busy. Careers shift. Kids need attention. Unexpected challenges arise. And before long, even healthy marriages can drift into survival mode. After nearly 20 years of marriage, four kids, major life transitions, and an 18-month break from their podcast, Thomas and Juli discussed an important truth on Episode 99 of the Marriage Puzzle Podcast: Strong marriages aren’t built on grand gestures—they’re built on intentional rhythms. If your relationship feels disconnected